


Eternity

by valkyrienix



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Reincarnation, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:07:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkyrienix/pseuds/valkyrienix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Dave Strider and you have lived thousands of lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eternity

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [30th-Century Night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/519122) by [Asuka Kureru (Askerian)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askerian/pseuds/Asuka%20Kureru). 



Your name is Dave Strider and you have lived thousands of lives. You have lived in every universe, every time period, every planet. You were a cherub once, you were human all too many times, and you were a troll on more than one occasion. You have lived a million lives and you have died a million deaths.

But you never forget your first life.

You never forget SBURB. The game that made it so you were cursed to live a million lives, die a million deaths. You never forget the friends you made, the friends you lose a million times. You never forget _him_. You don’t want to think about how many times you’ve watched them on their deathbeds, unaware of their past with you, unaware of the lives they’ve led beforehand. You don’t want to think of how many times you’ve watched John getting stabbed in the back by his first love, who’s always the same spider-obsessed girl, or how many times you’ve watched Rose crash headfirst into a mindless rage or an earth-shattering depression. Sometimes she dies from it, sometimes she rises from it like a burning sun, stronger from her pain.

Sometimes you think you’re just crazy. You think back on all your past lives and think to yourself that they can be nothing but something whipped up by your imagination. You don’t think any species is capable of whipping up all these intricate lives and allowing them to rest in your memory.

You know you’ve forgotten some of them.

There’s no way you could possibly remember all of them. No brain is capable of remembering a million different Dave’s thoughts and memories. Billions of events and even more people that you’d met in passing. Sometimes you get a flash of memory from a life you don’t recall. Something that flashes up in your mind that you can’t link to any lifetime past. Your hands, gray and clawed, wrapped around another troll’s neck; you, shaking and sobbing as you clutch your fallen twin.

Most lives are okay. You live out your first thirteen years blissfully unaware. Sometimes you want it to stay that way, sometimes you wish you’d known as early as five years old so you could take the chance of having _him_ while you could. But you can’t. It’s always when you’re 13, the age when you started playing the game that changed your life, the game that changed your soul.

From then on, you’re empty. Gradually, you fill yourself back up. Slowly, you become yourself again as you begin to meet all of your friends. You always have John, Rose, and Jade with you, no matter what life you’re in. You’ve yet to experience one where you haven’t had them by your side, and for that you’re grateful. You give whatever twisted gods are up there props for that much at least.

You are not, however, blessed in every life to have _him._ Sometimes you meet in passing, before you remember who you really are, and you never see him again, despite how desperately you search for him. Sometimes you meet him when you’re older, in your gray-haired years, and he’s a young man, barely an adult. You were his music teacher once. You had to hold yourself back from taking him in your arms and kissing him. Then there are other times when you never see him at all, and you die, still missing a piece of yourself.

But the universes make up for it, because when you two collide perfectly with each other, you have him fully. You have him to hold and cherish, to love and hate, to yell and whisper sweet words to under the sheets. You have Karkat Vantas so completely that you forgive the twisted gods what pain they’d put you through before for that brief period of your long lives. And then you’re both dead again and the process starts all over again and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is wait for the life that you can have him with you again.

**Author's Note:**

> expect more chapters on this probably hopefully maybe!!!!


End file.
